Peep this opening cinematic for Witcher 3 in which a single crow kills a man

News, Trailers

By William Chandler

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been unable to complete either the original Witcher or the Witcher 2 due to a combination of hating the combat systems and extreme laziness, but I played the first few hours of Witcher 2 and then saw a friend of mine play the last thirty minutes so it’s basically like I beat it.

Anyway, I’m hoping the Witcher 3 will finally be my bag so I’ll be able to give the franchise the attention it deserves and, based on the gameplay I’ve seen of it so far, it definitely seems like that’ll be the case. Further solidifying this notion is CD Projekt Red’s dedication to releasing badass trailers for the game and the one they released a few hours ago is no exception. Revealed to be the opening cinematic for Witcher 3, the trailer, which is titled “The Trail”, features Geralt tracking someone down using a trail of clues that are made apparent through flashbacks of prior events.

In one of the flashbacks some huge jerk is shown cutting off the head of a girl’s horse in order to halt her forward progress and she responds by somehow using a crow to blow a hole in his fucking head. I dunno. But you should probably just watch it.

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt drops February 24th, 2015 on PC, PS4, and Xbox One.

Updated version of GTA: San Andreas hits Xbox 360 next week, 2007 me rejoices

News, Video Games

By William Chandler

This is a bit of a weird one. Some rumors from earlier in the week were confirmed when Rockstar announced yesterday that Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas would see a slightly updated re-release on Xbox Live October 26th, just in time for the game’s tenth anniversary. I say “slightly updated” because it really only seems to have bumped up the resolution to 720p, added achievements, and increased the draw distance.

The Xbox originals version of the game was removed from the marketplace to make way for the updated release but previous owners of the Originals version will still be able to download and play it. That said, they will need to purchase the new version if they want the added features.

There’s currently no word on the updated version of San Andreas hitting platforms other than the Xbox 360.

And… Wait… This just in. I’m getting word that Red Dead Redemption is rumored to finally be getting the hotly anticipated Wii version sometime later this year.

Sherlock Holmes: Crimes and Punishments Critical Analysis

Opinion, Video Games

By William Chandler

Something made me take a sixty dollar chance on a random Sherlock Holmes game that I’d heard extremely little about prior to release. Well, actually… Boredom. It was probably just boredom. But it wasn’t long after booting the game up and methodically picking my way through the first case that I realized it was an extremely solid adventure game with a great deal of charm and not the ill-fated, franchise abusing drivel that I’d assumed. Chalk that one up to complete ignorance.

It was then that I’d done a bit of research and found that this turned out to not be much of a chance at all, as Sherlock Holmes: Crimes and Punishments is actually the seventh primary game in a long running series about the titular detective on Baker Street, which has been the flagship franchise for primarily Ukranian developer Frogwares since the series’ inception in 2002. Then my brain decided to dredge up this old youtube video that I’d seen ages ago which poked fun at the fact that Watson, in the 2007 release Sherlock Holmes: Nemesis, has no walking animation but instead appears to just creepily teleport alongside you, eternally transfixed on you with his steely gaze.

So, I actually had been familiar with the series in passing. And during this research I read that these games had pretty much always been quite enjoyable little adventure titles. I dunno, man. I guess I’ve just never been the guy eagerly eyeballing the list of upcoming releases under the “niche adventure games” category.

The presentational quality is decent enough but, judging by the earlier games in the franchise, has seen a pretty drastic increase in some of the latest titles. That said, there are certainly still some quirks. Tonally, Crimes and Punishments is all over the place. The menu screen features Holmes in the foreground of a moody backdrop of rain or a fireplace while seemingly appropriate orchestral music booms in the background and the game sometimes embraces the tone set by this initial impression, but it is interspersed with a feeling of silliness that often comes from the sheer idiocy of those around Sherlock.

Inspector Lestrade is portrayed here as not even a basically competent officer of the law and, at worst, a lazy and bumbling moron whose position of authority raises many questions about those in charge of promotions at Scotland Yard. Even Watson is not saved from the apparent brain damage that has taken hold of the cast of Crimes and Punishments, as he is often merely along for the ride and very rarely says or does anything even remotely useful. I suppose I’m a little too used to the 21st century BBC representation of Sherlock Holmes where they make the detective seem smart by showing how decently intelligent everyone around him is, and then showing the fact the he’s so far beyond even that. This game attempts to accomplish the same by simply making everyone stupid which doesn’t really feel right.

Shadow of Mordor Critical Analysis

Opinion, Video Games

By William Chandler

Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor is an interesting beast indeed. When broken down into its simplest ideas, the game really is nothing more than a collection of tried and true mechanics from various other franchises. You’re bound to see numerous familiar elements if you’ve played Arkham, Assassin’s Creed, Infamous, Far Cry, or really any other open world game in the past few years. That said, these mechanics often manage to feel as though they were implemented better here than even in the games that inspired them. Thankfully, a consistently high level of polish, as well as the inclusion of the much touted Nemesis System and some absurdly satisfying gore, ensures that Shadow of Mordor transcends its seemingly average trappings, making it some of the most fun I’ve had in a game all year. This is an honest example of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts.

Knowing as little as I do about the Lord of the Rings as a franchise, I am completely unqualified to judge the game’s narrative as a part of the greater context, so I’ll leave that to the experts. As a standalone story to drive the game forward, it feels both uninspired and uninteresting. It starts out strongly enough; humanizing both Talion and the people important to him in an interesting tutorial sequence before The Black Hand of Sauron mercilessly rolls up and cuts everyone’s throats, including Talion’s. Death claims his wife and son but fate apparently has other plans for Talion and he is resurrected to become the human vessel for a wraith named Celebrimbor, who, funnily enough, also has the objective of fucking Sauron’s shit up. Together you go and do this and…. Gollum is there for some reason before he just decides to peace out randomly. Objectives that distract needlessly from the overall goal and abhorrent pacing throughout really sink the plot before it even gets off the ground.

You find out about Celebrimbor’s forgotten past by way of lost artifacts and these flashback segments prove to be the most interesting bits in the entire story, which is especially sad considering that they are really just backstory and not immediately relevant. The story missions are a glaring weak point that weave you through an absolutely fascinating tale of Talion fucking around in Mordor with characters so absurdly uninteresting that I legitimately cannot remember any of their names. Many of these missions aren’t exactly enjoyable to play either, as they shine a particularly bright light on any one of the aforementioned borrowed aspects present in this game for a span of time long enough to incur boredom. It’s also quite unfortunate that the story wraps up in such a poor manner, as it really just leaves a bad taste in your mouth by ending suddenly and without closure, only serving to continue the story’s trend of abject pointlessness.

If you can forgive Shadow of Mordor’s grave narrative missteps then you’ll find a game fun and compelling enough to not even really need a story. In fact, much of the purpose of the Nemesis System is to ensure that each player crafts a tale unique to them through emergent gameplay born from randomly generated, high ranking members of the Orc army that populate the world in a seemingly natural manner. Spoken plainly, your objective is to hunt these Orcs down, however, it becomes much more complex in practice. Each Orc officer is given a unique name, personality, appearance, and a set of strengths and weaknesses that are pulled from a rather large pool of possibilities. These Orcs react to you in a relevant manner to your actions in the game as a whole and, most interestingly, to the Orcs themselves. For instance, if you fled the scene of a battle that a particular Orc Captain was present at, he will make a point of commenting on the fact that you ran away from that fight like a big, smarmy jerk.

Dragon Age Inquisition is shaping up to be straight fire, yo

News, Video Games

By William Chandler

As an avid lover of all things RPG, I am ashamed to admit that, contrary to what I imagine many EA haters and gaming elitists may believe about the current state of AAA games, I think Dragon Age Inquisition might turn out to be the best in the series. The original Dragon Age is damned great, don’t get me wrong. After all, it was the last old school Bioware game before they went and made two Mass Effect themed shooters (the first Mass Effect was a pretty legit RPG, complete with bad combat and everything) and an MMO sequel to Knights of the Old Republic. That said, Dragon Age Inquisition is shaping up to be even better than the first in just about every way

Just peep this nearly hour and a half live stream the developers put on earlier today which heavily features an in depth look at character creation and some previously unseen environments.

The character creation tools appear to be some of the deepest in recent memory and, while that alone certainly does not make a great RPG, it is an excellent sign of their devotion to a unique, story experience driven by player agency. You know, that age old RPG promise that your decisions in the world will deeply effect your personal in game story. It’s always been one of the signs of a good RPG, in my mind.

Definitely watch that live stream in order to get an idea of just what makes Dragon Age Inquisition worth watching as it nears its November 18th release.

Rapid Fire Reviews: 9-28-14

Opinion, Video Games

By William Chandler

A semi-regular segment in which I am too lazy to write full reviews of various games I’m playing so I instead write a couple of shorter ones.

D4: Dark Dreams Don’t Die

I like Swery. Based entirely on his work, he seems like an intriguing fellow and no doubt would be a cool guy to grab a drink and chat with. I think he’s extremely talented when it comes to intentionally non-nuanced humor about genre cliches and conventions. That said, his games are not fun to play. So, I really didn’t care much for Deadly Premonition. I got exactly what the team was trying to accomplish with it and I really enjoyed the absurdly over the top story aspects. It just sucked that those things were trapped behind an impenetrable wall of disastrous game design decisions. But yeah, I suppose that’s the point.

Let’s talk about PT baby, let’s talk about you and me…. And Lisa

Opinion, Video Games

By Destin Thomas

PT – AKA: The scariest and most brilliant marketing ploy ever in the history of gaming. I don’t give a fuck who you are, this game will scare you. And frankly, I’m not even sure why that is. The premise is simple: you wake up in this dark ass room and must endlessly traverse a repeating hallway, all the while attempting to solve these elaborate ass puzzles that involve endless trials and error. Scary, right? In principle: not really. However, the demo is masterfully effective at creating a sense of overall dread and paranoia, thereby making even the most mundane task of circling through a familiar hallway fucking eviscerating.

Be it the severed head poet in your mother’s brown lunch bag spewing out all this cryptic shit on the table in the first room, the stalking shadows of Lisa treading behind you, a fucking alien fetus in the bathroom sink, or the worst, Lisa literally snapping your neck out of nowhere, you cannot escape the panic of playing this demo. There are also baby laughs, ghost moaning, a radio detailing the grisly murder of some very unfortunate women, and a creepy ass lantern that swings back and forth making the most unsettling squeaking noise since Spongebob’s boots.

Not to mention, you’re entirely defenseless – think Outlast but ten times worse – so good luck trying to man-handle this shit. All of this combined equals the most terrifying experience I’ve ever had in a game; literally making me want to shit myself. Repeatedly. And still keep on playing. It’s comparable to waking up in a room with 4 oiled men and having no recollection of why your butthole hurts so much – and likewise, this game is also a dream come true for me.

Once you’ve solved the Schrodinger’s Cat equivalent puzzle at the end of the demo, you’ll be rewarded with the ultimately anticlimactic trailer for Silent Hills. But I didn’t even give a shit because of how fantastic the demo was. It was finally a return to actual horror in video games. I cannot fucking wait for Silent Hills. Until then, I’ll keep playing PT and crying and shitting myself to sleep. Happily.

Dance of the Demos

Opinion, Video Games

By William Chandler

I really enjoy game demos because they bring me back to a time in my life when I played video games all day because I had precious little else that needed doing, whereas I now have to knowingly neglect real world things in order to get in a decent amount of game time. They remind me of a time when my primary concern was how I could manage to stay up later than my mother wished and still be able to wake up in time for the super early episodes of Dragon Ball before school.

Before I was allowed to play M rated games, I would always try to get my hands on the demo discs that came with magazines. One I remember in particular was the Metal Gear Solid demo for the PlayStation. I must’ve played through that damned intro sequence fifteen fucking times, merely imagining what could possibly come next and unknowingly committing those first couple in game hours to memory where they will undoubtedly remain.

Demos have fallen out of favor since the latter half of the last console generation, particularly pre release ones. Perhaps they are too much work in a world where the rising costs of game development have caused even some of the most storied game development companies to collapse under the financial burden. That said, I’ve noticed a few pre release demons popping up here and there recently and I’ve decided to talk about them here.

Let’s start out with the big one.

Rapid Fire Reviews: 9-20-14

Opinion, Video Games

By William Chandler

A semi-regular segment in which I am too lazy to write full reviews of various games I’m playing so I instead write a couple of shorter ones.

Pay no mind to the fact that both of these ended up being pretty long this time. But, fuck it man. I dunno.