by Bipol Alam
They did it. Everything I love in the world encapsulated on one page. Is it real?
Yes it is.
As #Xhristian pointed out, The Division (Tom Clancy Dystopia Training Simulator) has been pushed back to Q? 2015. I fear that by the time of its release, nuclear war will have already happened, and the training manual will be of no use to us anymore. However, do not fret my fellow armchair-mad-max-wannabes for our savior has come, and her name is SHELLY “BOMBSHELL” HARRISON.
The Gods at 3D Realms have crafted the perfect sexy lady badass who happens to be equipped with all the knowledge we’ll need to survive Fallout 4. Unlike the boys at The Division, (who apparently want us to die in 2015), 3D Realms has PROMISED a ROCK-SOLID release date of Q1 2015.
I know what you’re wondering – Bipol, how did you get all this information? Well, let’s just say that I’ve been designated a prophet by our Lords in 3D Heaven, for they have given me our bible : http://bombshellgame.com
With a click you’ll be baptized in the glory of HARD ROCK MUSIC and EDGY STEEL INDUSTRIAL TYPOGRAPHY. If this doesn’t evoke the lame out of you, scroll down. In the words of our savior, Shelly “Bombshell” Harrison: “PREPARE YOUR FACE”.
Is that a video in the center of your screen? Fuck yeah it is. If you can bear stopping the HARD ROCK MUSIC for the 3 minutes and 27 seconds then go for the click, I sure as hell couldn’t. If someone in the comments could tell me what happens in that video, I’d appreciate it.
EDIT: Alright, I decided that my journalistic integrity would be tarnished if I didn’t watch the video. Unfortunately they opted for some weird deus ex sci-fi kind of beep boop stuff. Not my cup of Daniels Jackson.
WAIT – THIS IS A VIDEO GAME? A VIDEO GAME ACTION RPG FEATURING “INTENSE STORYTELLING ACTION”?! HOW DID THEY KNOW?
This “brilliantly brutal” top-down RPG X-core shooter is coming soon to your PC or PS4. You should be excited.