Far Cry 4 announced, as predictable as sun rising in the morning

News, Video Games

By William Chandler

I suppose they’ll continue the trend of having a cool, kooky villain that they kill off a few hours into the game

The inevitable Far Cry 4 announcement came in the form of a press release this morning, which I’ll paste at the bottom of this in case you really care to read it.

This time around it takes place in the mountainous regions of the himalayas, which admittedly sounds dope as fuck, not to mention relatively unique. The press release also states that they want to “surprise players and exceed fans’ expectations”, but they made an FPS so I’m pretty sure they’re lying. Is anyone as tired of open world FPSes as I am?

At any rate, Far Cry 4 drops on November 18th in the US on the Xbox One, Xbox 360, PS4, PS3, and PC.

Press Release:

(INFER ARTICLE TITLE FROM WITHIN)

Opinion, Video Games

By William Chandler

Were I required to make some weird and creepy human personification regarding video game storytelling (which I obviously am), I would say that storytelling in games is akin to a young teenager still in the throes of awkwardness and enamored with the idea of who they want to be. Developers are unsure of just how to communicate exactly what they need for the plot, so they sprinkle collectible notes throughout the environments that the player then has to pick up and read for lore, or they insert cutscenes between bouts of interactivity for a brief bit of movie like exposition. But that’s the cool part about games as a medium; they can blatantly rip off styles of storytelling from books and movies without anyone batting an eye because they’re young and developing. Hell, often times they rip off multiple styles at the exact same time. And while this can work, and indeed has, for a great number of games, it often causes you to forget exactly why games are unique.

More like cut-movie am I right? *laugh track*

I mean, audio logs were cool as fuck when you heard them in System Shock 2, Doom 3, or the original Bioshock, because they were a relatively fresh concept for delivering background information that was not immediately necessary for the plot at hand. For Doom 3, all you really needed to know was that demons from hell were invading your shit on Mars and that it was a decidedly necessary venture for you to stop them from doing that. And you could certainly get all of that just by playing the game. However, if you really wanted to know why this was happening and what exactly was going on prior to your unfortunate arrival to the space station, you could pick up the numerous audio logs spread around the base that might clue you in on such things. They were pretty much an optional addition to the story and they didn’t require taking control away from the player like cutscenes, and that is precisely what made them interesting at the time.

The inherent popularity of them in the original Bioshock is really what did in audio logs for me, though. After Bioshock’s release, you would often see the arbitrary inclusion of audio logs in games that, frankly, did not need them. Who honestly cares about the motivations of the Jackal in Far Cry 2? Neither the plot of the game nor his character within it were interesting enough to even warrant me finishing it, much less giving a remote shit about finding 17 collectible audio logs in a game world so massive that it was unlikely you’d ever locate them all without some form of guide.

Thanks a lot Frank Fontaine

Honestly, the biggest problem with audio logs, as well as the aforementioned notes and cutscenes exposition methods, is that they are all counter productive to the entire purpose of video games, which is to be interactive. Cutscenes literally rip control away from the player and force them to stare at the screen for a few moments (or an hour if it’s a Kojima product), notes take time to read once you collect them, and audio logs force you to stand in one spot for a moment if you’d actually like to hear whatever it has to say without being interrupted by pesky gameplay.

Stop for a sec and read this note in the middle of this haunted asylum

This is not to say that these methods are wrong. But after years of playing games that repeatedly recycle these same methods which tell you everything directly, it is really easy to notice when games get it right. And boy does the Souls series get it right. Being forced to infer much of the plot and lore of the game from the environments, enemies, items, and characters within the gameplay is not only a refreshing change, but it also enhances the feelings of accomplishment you get from completing a particularly difficult area. Not being told everything directly up front through top heavy exposition makes the player feel intelligent and is more natural to boot. After all, when was the last time someone in real life explained every bit of his or her honest motivations behind an action at the slightest prod? Rather, you often get bits and pieces and are then forced to fill in the rest on your own based on knowledge of their character, environment, past, etc. The STALKER franchise is great at this as well, although their writing quality and story structure are admittedly considerably weaker.

Keep on wheelin’ and dealin’, Souls games

Gamers should encourage more developers to focus on perfecting the type of story delivery that complements the interactivity in games rather than perfunctory attempts at overly complicated, mature, and self serious plots (THE MULTIVERSE BOOKER) or pointless twists that only harm the game in the end (YOUR WIFE WAS THE BIONIC ARM THE WHOLE TIME).

Perhaps then storytelling in games can enter the young adult phase where it loses all motivation to improve and instead prefers to watch reruns of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air all day.

WHAT AM I DOING? A BRIEF DISCOURSE ON WHY I HATE JRPGS

Opinion, Video Games

by Bipol Alam

“Woah! Look at that title!  Man, that is such a strange opinion, I bet.  He doesn’t like JRPGs? How does he live!  Everyone loves JRPGs.  They are probably the most rigorously built, engaging, innovative genre of video game I have ever played. “

–       No one ever (Tristan Tran)

JRPGs are like skinner boxes for pre-pubescent boys who just learned how to massage their boners.

“JRPG’s are good because of the plot and character development”.

Oh.  That makes sense actually.  The mechanics of JRPGs are rote to showcase the true source of entertainment, the plot.  I get it, okay?  It’s like comic books – a little male fantasy to escape in.  A super powerful generic protagonist boy with his hot 12-year old kid-sister-love-interest travels for 60 hours killing wild animals in order to save the world.  Intense.  How many people can I fuck in the game?  Zero. That’s okay.  I have 60 hours to obsess over the dialog and allergy problems of my kid-sister.  What other game can provide you with that?

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OMG BONER ALERT

How the fuck can she have allergies with that Voldemort-esque snake-nose.  Oh wait – that’s her O-face.  Got it.  Still can’t fuck her though.  I wonder if someone has drawn her nudie bits for me.

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Meow

Oh jesus – submissive cat poses get me off like nothing else.  I blurred the bits that may offend people.  Then again, if you are offended by submissive cat poses, why are you on a website named Nerd Orgy?  Seriously.  Who thought that was a good name?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frCJzyL7STo

Why do they deprive me of sex with these cat women?  These games are horny generators.  Oh wait – brain blast.   JRPGs are the ultimate form of foreplay.   60 hours of it.  After surviving a Tales game, you’ll have the stamina of a God.  Actually, I changed my mind.

I think turn-based RPGs were made to maximize fap time in between combat rounds.  You have a good 15 seconds to get one out during the enemy combat phase.  If you can’t get off during the round, there is always a chance during the Victory Orgy.

That 40-plus-year-old-American-feigning-youth mating call makes my loins dance.   It’s like a strange combination between M.I.L.F.-ness and pedophilia that drives any Tales-Of attracted male insane. If you don’t touch yourself in these moments, you’re either a monk, or asexual.  Hell, I can’t even imagine how RED 2 GO the actors are in the studio.  I wonder how many JRPG voice actors have slept with Troy Baker.  Probably a ton.  I’d sleep with Troy Baker.

I take everything back.  JRPGs are everything I want games to be.